THE HUMAN RACE HAS BEEN SAVED! You can breathe a little easier, and
go back to your normal routines without having to worry about vampires
sneaking around trying to drink your blood. Blade (Wesley Snipes) has
come to the rescue once again and for the final time in Blade Trinity.
This time, he kicks their asses and doesn’t even bother taking their
names, he’s just that cool. Along side with Blade we get to see
newcomers Abigail (Jessica Biel) and Hannibal (Ryan Reynolds) do their
share of killing. This movie does not mess around. Since this is the
third installment, there’s hardly any plot to set up which leaves more
time for good old fashioned kicking of vampire butt.
The first several scenes of the movie are action sequences. First we
see Dracula pull a vampire into the sand and decapitate him. Why? Who
friggin’ cares. Then it cuts to Blade going on a vampire killing
spree, which is just incredible. The filmmaking team behind this movie
know how to catch your attention from the start, and not with any of
that ‘getting to know the characters before you see them in action’
crap. The first scene with Biel is her packaging some vampire asses
into some paper sacks, and handing them right back to them. Now that’s
hot. None of that damsel in distress stuff for this woman.
There’s even a cute little doggy mascot in this flick. Watch out
though, don’t be fooled by the Pomeranian, it’ll eat your face faster
than you can start calling it a pwecious widdle puppy. Though for a
bloodthirsty vampire dog, it’s still pretty cute.
Overall this was a great action flick. Reynolds was hilarious in the
film, as well as looking mighty fine in his numerous shirtless scenes.
Anyway, the action barely quits long enough to even flirt with the
idea of plot, but that’s the way I like it.
Best Hands on Kill: Blade is fighting a vampire,
of course. Blade dodges a punch from the vampire spins him around and
rips his throat out from behind. Blood squirts everywhere. Tasty!!
Best Kill with Silver: This one goes to Jessica
Biel and her awesome little toy, the bow and arrow tipped with silver
points. A vampire dives into a room and closes the door trying to get
away from Biel. Biel, at the end of the hallway, shoots the arrow
anyway. It pierces through the door and through the vampire, right in
the chest. He then disintegrates into ashes.
Best line: Dracula and Blade meet face to face for
the final showdown. Dracula asks Blade if he is ready to die. Blade
responds with:
“I was born ready, motherf*****”
Guys getting killed (Bad guys): Dracula and his
posse of vampires
Amount of time before Blade related action: ~ 3
minutes
Best Explosion: The FBI invades Whistler and
Blade’s hideout. Whistler goes through to each computer and programs
them to explode. A massive explosion occurs when they all go off,
killing just about everyone inside. The explosion reaches out to the
FBI waiting in the parking lot.
Rating: 5 vampire Pomeranians, out
of 5
